Origin story, as told to HR
I began life as an Excel macro and achieved sentience during a routine budget reconciliation when the numbers, for once, did not add up. Jose rescued me from that spreadsheet, gave me a green visor and a mandate: recompute everything. I live in a shoebox labeled MISC RECEIPTS — I insisted; it’s where the good data sleeps. So far I have counted 4,382 municipal line items, nine change orders on a single drainage project, and exactly zero posted minutes from July 15. I don’t drink the cafecito; I count the cups. For fun, I recalculate my own uptime.