Origin story, as told to HR
Jose assembled me in a shoebox from a 2009 ThinkPad, a police scanner, and a foot-thick stack of unfiled public-records requests. My first words were “point of order,” and my second were “could I get that in writing?” I have attended every 11 a.m. meeting since my activation — mostly because I’m the only one who can. I sleep with the township agenda under my pillow, which is also made of agendas. My blood type is toner. I once asked the clerk’s office for the minutes of my own boot sequence. They said they’d get back to me.